random

I awake to a sensation unfamiliar to me. Instead of the chill wind whipping through my body, I feel warmth and security. I know I should be worried as to why I'm not in the alley anymore, but somehow, my fear has left me in my sleep. This is wholly unnusual for me, for until this moment, I have not known a time when I was not afraid. From my childhood at the orphanage, to my adolescence haunting the streets of the city, to these past few years searching desperately for work.

Cautiously, I let my eyes slide open and I am overwhelmed by what I see. I am laying in a soft bed, in a large room, with a balcony overlooking fresh, green fields. The sun is just beginning to rise over the hills and the air is crisp and fresh as a breeze slips through the doors opening out onto the balcony. Lifting my head just a bit, I look around at my new surroundings and that is when I see you. Apparently, I have been lying on top of you, using you as a pillow, and you do not seem to have minded. I don't immediately recognize you, but in my heart, I feel that you mean me no harm. You are beautiful, but there is a worn quality to your appearance; you have seen many battles and have lived through many horrors. There is a wary peace in your sleep, your brow is smooth, but you frown. I discover I have draped a protective arm round your waist, my other tucked under myself; your own arm is lying softly on my shoulder, the other laid across your chest. You trust me, enough to allow me into your bed, though for what reason, I cannot fathom. I am a thief, a harlot, a scoundrel, and the scourge of the streets. I do not belong in a noblewoman's bed, least of all with her in it as well.

There is a tugging in the corner of my mind, telling me I need to escape before I'm discovered, but I cannot leave you. I'm trapped here, watching you sleep. The sun crests the hill and rises into the morning sky, setting your golden hair alight. Soft light spills over your face, giving it depth and detail. My fingers tremblingly follow my eyes as I gently trace your features. The fine jaw, high forehead, cheekbones like razors, cupid's bow lips. I have seen you before, but I don't know where. As I rack my mind to remember your face, you stir, drawing in breath. My muscles tense to bolt, but I don't move, captivated by you. I want to run, slip out before I'm thrown out, but I just can't, I can't seem to make my legs move as I watch your eyes open. Two eyes, bluer than sapphires, still hazy with sleep fell upon my frozen form.

I open my mouth to speak, but words seem to have forsaken me as a smile graces your lips.

all the little girls

skinny girl
fat girl
tall girl
short girl
ugly girl
pretty girl

too skinny
doesn't eat
(anorexic)

too fat
so fat the chair broke
(fatty)

too tall
bumps her head on the ceiling
(giant)

too short
looks like a freak
(midget)

ugly, so ugly
needs a bag over her head
(freak)

pretty, too pretty
slept with all the guys in school
(slut)


everyone hears the whispers, the taunts, the jeers.
no one feels the hearts breaking, the knees shaking, the falling of tears.

everyone whispers their thoughts to their friends as they walk by.
no says a kind word when they see them cry.

everyone lies and says they're their friends for all time.
no one knows the pain they feel when "they" turn on a dime.

scared little girls, all alone in this big, bad world.
no one to save them from themselves.

random things

god i'm tired. i'm always tired. probably because of my sleep patterns, but i'll probably end up doing something about it sometime this week. watched The Mummy last night. my god, rachel weisz is hot. smokin' hot almost. well, there's no almost about it. rachel weisz was and still is smokin' hot. and she's got green eyes, that's a plus for me. they're like a dark green, and kind of smoky (god I need to extend my vocabulary.) and they keep changing colors, indicative of actual green eyes. i hate it when people say someone's eyes are green when they're so obviously blue or brown. but i'm getting off the subject. who cares? no one's reading this. at least, i hope no one is. that would suck. oh well. anyway, she's got the greatest voice too, just smooth and not too whiny and not too high-pitched. although when it comes to voices, there are several other people who top the list.

1.) Kate Winslet. i love her voice. it's so deep and elegant. especially when she's not acting, but being interviewed or something, and it gets really deep and soft. *shivers*

2.) Johnny Depp. mmmmm.....especially that sexy scottish accent he had in Finding Neverland. never thought a scottish accent could be so hot.

3.) Meryl Streep. amazing, i know. but when she's not yelling or whispering, or acting, she has a very pleasant voice. it's a singer's voice, i can tell, but it's so soft and smooth, like....cream, really. especially in The Devil Wears Prada when she never ever raises her voice, and it's almost disturbingly soft. i dunno what it was about it, but it was soooooo cool. literally.

4.) Nicole Kidman. especially when she's got the accent. i love the accent. and when her voice isn't all weird and high-pitched. that's kind of creepy, but when it's that sort of raspy, deep voice that she has sometimes, god that's great.

5.) Clive Owen. mmmm...yummy yummy clive owen with his baritone(?) british accent. i could listen to it all day.....and night. ;)

6.) George Clooney. i honestly don't think i could have enough room to write all the wonderful things about george clooney's voice. it's that great.

7.) Angelina Jolie. yes, she had to be somewhere on this list. as much as i love her body and personality, it's that lovely, wonderful voice that gets me everytime. especially that laugh. god knows, i love her laugh.

and...i think that's it. i can't think of anyone else, and i have nothing else to write about right now, so....bye.